Zenhunting

The humans in our household, and virtually all who visit, have a similar political viewpoint – Conservative. For the non-humans, however, the two-party system is alive and well.

The “big dog” Schatzie works for a living, and has since she was 5 months old. Three months out of the year she’s up before dawn, diving into frigid pond water, making long swims out and back to retrieve downed ducks, dealing with the mud and blood without complaint because that’s her job. In the off-season she guards us all, the house and the property with a courage twice her size. She does as she’s commanded to do, never a whine or a gripe, because she’s a giver and she knows if a lab ever said “no, that’s too hard” the world would descend into chaos.

Even the “little dog” Abigail, the 4 month old Maltese/Shih-Tzu, contributes what she can. She hasn’t yet learned to discern a true threat, so she barks at anything and anyone, whether it’s the mail lady or an acorn hitting the deck out back. If the big dog thinks something is bark-worthy, she’ll provide back up, but if Schatzie’s tone changes to a more serious, menacing one, Abby takes the cue and gets behind her. Still, she’s doing a job.

And that’s why I refer to them as RePUPlicans. Neither expects something for nothing. They’re always on the clock. You want to take out the trash, fix a sprinkler, wash the car, they will HELP.

The cat, Daisy, is not that way.

She will not lift a paw to help with anything. In fact, I can’t think of a single contribution that she makes. Her chief activity is sleeping, of course. She does look kinda cute all curled up, if that counts. When she’s not sleeping she’s usually crying for food (an hour before it’s feeding time), hawking up hairballs (not really balls, more like long green slimy caterpillars), throwing up other puddles of food and bile, claw-ripping the furniture and carpet, and sending cat hairs wafting up to my allergic nose. If it takes a village to raise a child – or a cat – doesn’t the village have a right to expect something in return?

This cat doesn’t think so. So she’s a DemoCAT.

I know from doing the demolition on the shower stall that we have at least one mouse living with us. He’s apparently quite safe with Daisy around; she’s never caught anything. Being a hunter, I know you aren’t always successful, but I’m pretty sure she’s never even tried. Isn’t that whole clawing-the-furniture thing meant to sharpen them? For what, Daisy, for what?!

As in human society, I guess we’ve brought this situation upon ourselves. She gets treats when the working dogs get treats. She gets the same expensive vet care the working dogs get. Same warm place to sleep, gourmet food as well. We even call her “baby kitty.” She’s 16 for Heaven’s sake!

The Repuplicans don’t mind that Daisy doesn’t do anything. They go on protecting her, giving her her space (puppy is still working on that concept), and letting her do as she pleases. They don’t complain when she gets fed first. In true Dem fashion, however, the Democat has a LOT to say about what the Repuplicans do. Lots of hissing and yowling and scratching if they pass too close, meows of protest if they get one more treat than she does, and a general continual look of disgust at their very existence.

Hmm, that’s sounds so familiar.

~ by SpeakingZenaphorically on August 8, 2014.

Posted in Humor, Hunting Dogs, Hunting Humor, Labrador retrievers, politics, Retrievers
Tags: hunting, neil beltran, politics, zenhunter, Zenhunting