The Wind and the Lyin’

If I were a hillbilly…

…and thus entitled to add phrases to the hillbilly lexicon, I would add one about the wind we so crave for waterfowl hunting.

Hillbilly lingo is so much richer than how the rest of us say things. We say “it’s cold” when we’re getting into bed and pulling up the down comforter. They get into bed, shiver, and remark that it’s a three dog night. And then they’re joined by three warm hounds that are happy to oblige.

Nothing is known about how hounds number five, six, seven and eight feel about this eloquently descriptive but rather limited phrase. My dog would love to hear it’s a one dog night. But she’s not allowed on the bed.

So you see, I find statements such as it was “really windy” or “blowing pretty hard” or “gusting up to xx mph” very unsatisfying. We need something better.

Something like it was “flockin’ flippin'” out there today! Or maybe “flappin’ dog ear” windy. I’m open to suggestions.

Because we should be pretty damn thankful for a good wind. Not just for getting the ducks and geese all worked up, but for providing an excuse for missed shots. It’s hard enough to feel the right lead when a duck zooms past in still air.  But it’s a scientific fact that if there’s anything stronger than a 15mph wind in the mix, your ego is unaffected by the miss. Anything above 20mph, even your blind mates will nod understandingly and sympathize. Of course, when you’re alone, the wind speed is whatever you want it be.

The wind is why I missed an easy shot at a Wigeon this Sunday. God only knows where my pellets went, but they sure didn’t go where that hen was. I don’t feel bad about it, It was flappin’ dog ear windy that day. And I’m not lying. See for yourself.

~ by SpeakingZenaphorically on November 4, 2013.

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